Appearances
By Ann Chiappetta
Once, not long ago
the details of life consumed me
Images of wild flowers, riotous colors in a
blanket of green
were picked, not left untouched.
Dependence on Televised greek tragedies
Indelible Portraits, live feeds and last breaths
Possessed me.
Now a sound or smell overrides the lost optical cues
Memories ribbon the air with Familiar scents
Warm, pungent earth after it rains
Reminders of ripening tomatoes
The brace and sting of crisp winter wind
Recollections of hikes in the snow tipped pines
The soft, clear tinkle of ice on a windowpane
And My husband’s breathing deep in the night
Comforts the troubles
Lulls me back to sleep
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
New Poem
The last Degree
By Ann Chiappetta
When I had 20 degrees I could see
Colors and contrast, walk
Relaxed and not rely on a cane for mobility.
Then it became 10 degrees
Gone was the confidence of more periphery
The macular cloud rolled in, obscuring everything
Colors eroded into shades of grey
I relied on a dog because I needed more
Than a cane could give me.
Then one day I began bumping into walls
Misplacing items in front of me
I said goodbye to magnification and high contrast
The accuracy of degrees left me
Once again I was forced
To cope with a lost legacy, a memory
Of what I had only months before.
So here I am, floundering, fearful
The final five degrees
The countdown begins
I don’t know what to expect
The Numbers represent a plunge
Into something familiar
Something different
Something that leeches courage and resolve
Something I am not prepared to face
Something I live with every day
And something I know nothing about.
By Ann Chiappetta
When I had 20 degrees I could see
Colors and contrast, walk
Relaxed and not rely on a cane for mobility.
Then it became 10 degrees
Gone was the confidence of more periphery
The macular cloud rolled in, obscuring everything
Colors eroded into shades of grey
I relied on a dog because I needed more
Than a cane could give me.
Then one day I began bumping into walls
Misplacing items in front of me
I said goodbye to magnification and high contrast
The accuracy of degrees left me
Once again I was forced
To cope with a lost legacy, a memory
Of what I had only months before.
So here I am, floundering, fearful
The final five degrees
The countdown begins
I don’t know what to expect
The Numbers represent a plunge
Into something familiar
Something different
Something that leeches courage and resolve
Something I am not prepared to face
Something I live with every day
And something I know nothing about.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
updates with legal mattersWell. I am being proactive and called Disability Rights Advocates to inquire as to if they will take on my case with being denied reasonable accommodations with the NY State Family therapy lisencing exam. I'll know sometime next week if they will take on my case.
The V.A. has made great strides in accommodating me with the primary database I need to record and view my case notes. I'm able to do at least 50% of my job with the changes but it's still a work in progress.
The exam process, however, has morphed into an ugly snake with a wicked bite. Not only has the State of NY denied me, the cop out is "we just don't know when the changes will take place,". Wow, since I found out the testing contractor, PES has made it an option for test takers to use screen magnification, why can't they also offer screen reading software? I never got a straight answer and I don't plan to let them slide on this. I'll post as soon as I know if DRA will take me on.
The V.A. has made great strides in accommodating me with the primary database I need to record and view my case notes. I'm able to do at least 50% of my job with the changes but it's still a work in progress.
The exam process, however, has morphed into an ugly snake with a wicked bite. Not only has the State of NY denied me, the cop out is "we just don't know when the changes will take place,". Wow, since I found out the testing contractor, PES has made it an option for test takers to use screen magnification, why can't they also offer screen reading software? I never got a straight answer and I don't plan to let them slide on this. I'll post as soon as I know if DRA will take me on.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
surprise
I just recently surpassed my first year anniversary being employed full time for the Office of Veterans Affairs. The year went by quickly but was also difficult for me due to being blind. Some of it was on my end and some of it was on the V.A. end and most of it was all due to the fact that the V.A. technology was far from being current. I'm glad to say, though, that we've gotten over the first hump. This is a wonderful surprise because Central Office actually listned to my requests even if it took a whole year and a formal complaint to get there.
Another surprise was the knowledge that I am purportedly the only blind counselor among thousands who had the gumption to complian while also being employed as a counselor. So, folks, this means I'm an enigma, and exception. A front runner for the blind and visually impaired counselors employed by the VA Vet Centers Nationwide.
I find this hard to believe, but so far no one else has identified themselves since I came on board.
Sure, there have been, and still are, blind psychologists and rehab counselors. But I'm the first family therapist.
It's really quite weird and I don't want the label. I just want to do my job and at the end of the day, take pride in knowing I did good.
Another surprise was the knowledge that I am purportedly the only blind counselor among thousands who had the gumption to complian while also being employed as a counselor. So, folks, this means I'm an enigma, and exception. A front runner for the blind and visually impaired counselors employed by the VA Vet Centers Nationwide.
I find this hard to believe, but so far no one else has identified themselves since I came on board.
Sure, there have been, and still are, blind psychologists and rehab counselors. But I'm the first family therapist.
It's really quite weird and I don't want the label. I just want to do my job and at the end of the day, take pride in knowing I did good.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
newest poem
Break Away
By Ann Chiappetta
October 2011
She Hurts
I soothe by
traveling to the past
Littered with obsidian precipices
and blackness
caring for her
stirs vulnerability
like a cyclonic eye
determined to maim the heart.
Helping means
Chiseling grooves
The hammer blows striking
Shard by shard
Her prison begins to break away
As I fall apart.
By Ann Chiappetta
October 2011
She Hurts
I soothe by
traveling to the past
Littered with obsidian precipices
and blackness
caring for her
stirs vulnerability
like a cyclonic eye
determined to maim the heart.
Helping means
Chiseling grooves
The hammer blows striking
Shard by shard
Her prison begins to break away
As I fall apart.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Unfair Advantage?
An Unfair Advantage?
By Ann Chiappetta
Did you ever encounter a situation where no matter what you try, something gets in the way? I know, you’re thinking, oh, no, she’s going to try and pull off an Andy Rooney-like rant. If it sounds like it, feel free to go on the next article, but if you stay with me maybe we’ll both get something out of it.
To be brief, I’m registering for a licensing examination in New York State. The first step was to fill out the application. This I couldn’t do myself, as it is still a hand written submission. The process took two weeks from start to finish.
Three weeks later, I’m contacted by the person who processes the applications for the State Board of Higher Education and Licensing via email informing me that most of the auxiliary documents are in order and I’ve been approved to proceed to the examination registration. She asks for proof of my disability and I provide a form letter from our State agency for the blind, but she says that’s not good enough. I say it’s signed by a New York State rehab counselor, the very same State, in fact as the one she works for and if she can’t trust a sister agency, that’s pretty sad. So she accepts it.
Next, she wants to know why I’m asking for a reasonable accommodation, when, in fact, I did not request any while attending college. When I asked why that was needed, she answered that her job was to make sure I did not, “have an unfair advantage over my sighted peers,” before, during or after the test taking process. After a week of being very pissed off and feeling discriminated against, I got over it, wrote a letter stating how my vision had declined since then and that all my needs were addressed by outside agencies serving me. I added that if they wanted proof, to contact the rehab counselor who wrote the proof of disability letter. I concluded the letter by saying I thought asking for proof of my past needs was in no way relevant to what I required presently and that I found it an invasion of my privacy and insulting.
They, of course, moved on to a higher level of ignorance.
Next, the person says that since I’m legally blind, the testing facility can offer a screen magnifying program. I say I cannot use it because I no longer have useable sight. I describe the screen reading program I use (JAWS) and that I’m requesting to use it during the exam. They respond by saying, no, they do not have JAWS, nor will they obtain it, but they will, however make a reasonable accommodation by providing a human reader for the exam.
I ask if this is the first time the testing site has provided services for a blind candidate and, to their credit, no one responds to my question.
So, after ping-ponging with the woman and her superior, I fight for and receive approval for both a reader, responding person to take down answers, and double testing time. I receive a confirmation via mail instructing me to log on to a website to register and pay for a testing date and location. I go to the website and click on the PDF for instructions and guess what? It’s not accessible. I email them and guess what? The email is bad. So, this is what I mean by barriers. I’ve done it all correctly, crossing every t and dotting every I and I am still being denied equal access to something my sighted peers take for granted. We know who really has the advantage here, folks, and it’s surely not me.
The higher I go the more I find uncompromising attitudes. The simple folk are easier to deal with; I'm not quite sure why that is but it seems to be my experience.
In any case, I have to call the person and verbally recount my findings and hope they will not ignore me or it's off to the Dept. of Justice with an EEO compliant. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get my license.
By Ann Chiappetta
Did you ever encounter a situation where no matter what you try, something gets in the way? I know, you’re thinking, oh, no, she’s going to try and pull off an Andy Rooney-like rant. If it sounds like it, feel free to go on the next article, but if you stay with me maybe we’ll both get something out of it.
To be brief, I’m registering for a licensing examination in New York State. The first step was to fill out the application. This I couldn’t do myself, as it is still a hand written submission. The process took two weeks from start to finish.
Three weeks later, I’m contacted by the person who processes the applications for the State Board of Higher Education and Licensing via email informing me that most of the auxiliary documents are in order and I’ve been approved to proceed to the examination registration. She asks for proof of my disability and I provide a form letter from our State agency for the blind, but she says that’s not good enough. I say it’s signed by a New York State rehab counselor, the very same State, in fact as the one she works for and if she can’t trust a sister agency, that’s pretty sad. So she accepts it.
Next, she wants to know why I’m asking for a reasonable accommodation, when, in fact, I did not request any while attending college. When I asked why that was needed, she answered that her job was to make sure I did not, “have an unfair advantage over my sighted peers,” before, during or after the test taking process. After a week of being very pissed off and feeling discriminated against, I got over it, wrote a letter stating how my vision had declined since then and that all my needs were addressed by outside agencies serving me. I added that if they wanted proof, to contact the rehab counselor who wrote the proof of disability letter. I concluded the letter by saying I thought asking for proof of my past needs was in no way relevant to what I required presently and that I found it an invasion of my privacy and insulting.
They, of course, moved on to a higher level of ignorance.
Next, the person says that since I’m legally blind, the testing facility can offer a screen magnifying program. I say I cannot use it because I no longer have useable sight. I describe the screen reading program I use (JAWS) and that I’m requesting to use it during the exam. They respond by saying, no, they do not have JAWS, nor will they obtain it, but they will, however make a reasonable accommodation by providing a human reader for the exam.
I ask if this is the first time the testing site has provided services for a blind candidate and, to their credit, no one responds to my question.
So, after ping-ponging with the woman and her superior, I fight for and receive approval for both a reader, responding person to take down answers, and double testing time. I receive a confirmation via mail instructing me to log on to a website to register and pay for a testing date and location. I go to the website and click on the PDF for instructions and guess what? It’s not accessible. I email them and guess what? The email is bad. So, this is what I mean by barriers. I’ve done it all correctly, crossing every t and dotting every I and I am still being denied equal access to something my sighted peers take for granted. We know who really has the advantage here, folks, and it’s surely not me.
The higher I go the more I find uncompromising attitudes. The simple folk are easier to deal with; I'm not quite sure why that is but it seems to be my experience.
In any case, I have to call the person and verbally recount my findings and hope they will not ignore me or it's off to the Dept. of Justice with an EEO compliant. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get my license.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Verona goes to the Lake
Verona goes to the Lake
She knew where we were as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. Are we at the free place? She seemed to say, I love this place. I get to swim, hang out off-leash and poop in the woods. Cool.
We unloaded the truck, weaved through the other guests on the strip of patio on the way to our room and settled in for a fun relaxing afternoon.
Verona and my daughter, April, played in the lake for an hour, Verona chasing sticks and paddling around. The funniest thing was the way she would blow water from her mouth after dropping the stick. April said it made her lips puff out and it made a loud, spitting sound that I could hear from the patio.
When the geese and ducks realized she was visiting, they hot footed it off the grass and stayed in the lake or in the weeds near the dock. It was a thrill to see her body stiffen, her head and tail go up when she saw them. It made me feel proud to share this time together, giving her back to her instincts for just a little while. She’s going to be five years old, I thought, the time goes by so fast. Each and every year we have together is a blessing, a time for me to feel unfettered. As we stand and watch the birds quack and waddle down the hill toward the edge of the lake, I try to think back on the way life was before training with Verona but my mind veers from those dark moments and I let them go. We are here, listening and watching, being warmed by the late afternoon sun, taking in the fresh water aromas. We are dog and woman, partners for however long time and fate permit. I place a hand on her glossy head and stroke it; she gives me a quick poke with her nose before returning to duck watching as the sun dips below the hills.
Greenwood Lake -- August 2011
She knew where we were as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. Are we at the free place? She seemed to say, I love this place. I get to swim, hang out off-leash and poop in the woods. Cool.
We unloaded the truck, weaved through the other guests on the strip of patio on the way to our room and settled in for a fun relaxing afternoon.
Verona and my daughter, April, played in the lake for an hour, Verona chasing sticks and paddling around. The funniest thing was the way she would blow water from her mouth after dropping the stick. April said it made her lips puff out and it made a loud, spitting sound that I could hear from the patio.
When the geese and ducks realized she was visiting, they hot footed it off the grass and stayed in the lake or in the weeds near the dock. It was a thrill to see her body stiffen, her head and tail go up when she saw them. It made me feel proud to share this time together, giving her back to her instincts for just a little while. She’s going to be five years old, I thought, the time goes by so fast. Each and every year we have together is a blessing, a time for me to feel unfettered. As we stand and watch the birds quack and waddle down the hill toward the edge of the lake, I try to think back on the way life was before training with Verona but my mind veers from those dark moments and I let them go. We are here, listening and watching, being warmed by the late afternoon sun, taking in the fresh water aromas. We are dog and woman, partners for however long time and fate permit. I place a hand on her glossy head and stroke it; she gives me a quick poke with her nose before returning to duck watching as the sun dips below the hills.
Greenwood Lake -- August 2011
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